Let’s say you had a stressful day.
You tell it to your friend on the phone. You say: “I had a stressful day.”
He says: “Oh, I’m sorry.”
But somehow you can’t help but feel that he hasn’t grasped the magnitude of the teeth-crumbling, nerve-shredding course of your day.
It’s only natural he doesn’t know. He hasn’t seen you driving slaloms through rush hour traffic, one finger on the steering wheel, while arranging appointments on the cell phone, and wrapping a birthday present with your left toe. He hasn’t seen you creeping in through the front door on your gums at 11 PM, loaded with papers and shopping bags.
He was told how you feel, not shown. “Stressful” is an abstract word. And we only fully experience things we are shown.
Another example: The other day on the radio, I heard that “two people were killed in a car accident.”
Did I feel for these poor people?
If I’m honest, not at all. They were just news on the radio. I was just given a piece of information. When we are told a summary, we don’t feel in our guts what happened. That’s just human nature.
But what if I had witnessed their car crash, seeing their blood and their skulls cracked open, hearing their screams? What if I had been talking to their crying families? Would I have felt for them then?
You bet, I would have felt for them more than you can imagine.
You can’t imagine right now, because I just told you, I didn’t show you. I would have tears streaming down my cheeks. There, now I showed you.
Excuse my macabre and extreme example taken from our media-filtered reality. But such is the power of ‘Show, don’t tell’!
And when narrating your stories, you should use it to your advantage.
When you just tell somebody, you are taking away from them experiencing your scene. They might as well read an instruction manual.
‘Telling’ is like a big neon sign. It’s the most obvious clue you are reading an amateurish, unexperienced writer. Don’t do it!
So in honor of showing, this post will lay out for you how exactly you can use the good, old ‘Show, don’t tell’ to create unforgettable stories. In this post, find the answers to the following questions:
- Why are you always tempted to ‘tell’?
- Which words are strong indicators that you are ‘telling’?
- Which tricks can you employ to avoid ‘telling’?
- You will also get lots and lots of examples, so ‘Show, don’t tell’ will become engrained in your DNA by the time you finish this post…
Like always, I also have a little gift for you:
Show Don’t Tell Worksheet
This worksheet summarizes the most important points of the post. Keep it at your desk while you are writing, so it can remind you at all times to ‘Show, don’t tell.’
You will also get some exercises to sharpen your showing skills. Print out, and use for all of your future stories:
Show Don’t Tell Meaning
Which one of the following two snippets pulls you deeper into the story?
This one:
Or this one:
Obviously, the second example hooks us much more, and draws us quicker into the story. It lets us experience the scene directly.
And that is why in your scenes, you should show, and not tell.
The difference between those two is really like the difference between watching a 3D movie and reading a review of the same movie online.
Telling means that you are putting quick labels and broad, simple adjectives on things. You are claiming something is so-and-so. You summarize.
Showing means that you describe details, and use action, emotion and dialogue to paint a scene for your reader. You are demonstrating that something is so-and-so.
Anton Chekhov knew what he was talking about. In a letter to his brother, he stated:
Even in this letter itself, Chekhov practiced some ‘Show, don’t tell’: He didn’t just tell us what he meant, but showed us with a practical example…
Beware! The Looming Danger
Telling is easy. You just pile up a couple of adjectives like in a class essay, and baaaam, you can say “I wrote a story.”
Showing is hard. You have to do brain work and think about “Which details can I include?” and “How could I demonstrate this in a visual way?” You have to immerse yourself completely into that scene, and sometimes you have to think backwards how to demonstrate something.
That’s why telling takes a lot less effort than showing. The difference is like claiming you just decluttered your garage versus actually doing it. It’s very tempting to just take the lower road and tell.
But don’t do that!
Be aware of that temptation, and don’t give in to it. If you put in the effort to show, you story will be so much more gripping and engaging, and will be a much more exciting experience.
Now let me show (not tell) you how to do it in detail:
How to ‘Show Don’t Tell’
1. Use Details
The first and most obvious thing to do when you show, don’t tell, is describing details. Be as generous as Santa Clause with details!
Make the spooky house a house with dark windows, shattered lanterns, a doorway covered in cobwebs, and an overgrown path leading up to it.
Don’t say Kate is angry. Instead, describe how Kate bangs the table with her clenched fist, her face turning slightly red, screaming “Damn! I can’t believe it!”
Unfold the scene in front of your mind’s eye, and those engaging details will come to you easily.
Spooky House
2. Try Not to Use These Words
Some words are signs that you are telling, not showing. These bad words are (view them as villains): Adjectives and any form of the word “to be.” They will seduce you to tell, not show. You must resist their evil powers!
With adjectives, you can put a quick label on anything; something is “beautiful, big, funny, strange…” The same is true for variations of “to be”: “he was, she is, it was…” All of these lead to quick labeling, rather than showing.
But I will give you an anti-spell against their evilness. The formula is to ask yourself:
Answer yourself that question, and you will have a great list of descriptions to show to your readers. This question is like your secret weapon against all adjectives.
3. Use Nouns and Verbs Instead
On the other hand, here are the good words, the Batmen of your dictionary (I’m so happy I got to use the plural of “Batman” for once): They are the nouns and verbs.
If you use nouns and verbs, they will force you to describe. They will force you to do the right thing, like your mom shoving spinach down your throat when you were little.
4. Use senses
Using senses is pure showing!
Instead of a lush garden, make it a garden with wild red and orange flowers, and a thick, sweet smell.
Instead of writing diving into the water was pleasant, write the water felt cool and fresh and clean on his sore skin.
When you describe a sensual experience, oftentimes your reader will have experienced it herself, and remember her experience while reading. She will then immediately and very intensely hear, smell, feel or taste the objects you lay out for her.
5. Dialogue is Your Friend
Any dialogue line you use is always showing!
That’s because a dialogue line is reflecting straight up what’s happening in the scene, moment-by-moment. It’s never the author speaking.
So instead of telling your audience Don Pedro was a powerful man, write:
“The guy in the white suite, who just got off the Royce Rolls… that’s Don Pedro,” she muttered. “He seems to always get his way. People he doesn’t like… they just disappear. His power seems to have no limits!”
In that direct speech we showed in part (white suit; Royce Rolls), and in part we told (seems to always get his will; people just disappear; power seems to have no limits).
But all the telling in this snippet is no problem. Because the person talking is the character; it’s not you, the author… you are off the hook! A very convenient and perfectly fine way to sneak some telling in through the backdoor.
By the way, if you want to bring some crime and violence into your story, make sure to check out my post about the dirty secrets of how to write a fight scene.
6. Dialogue Tags Are Not Always Your Friends
Now dialogue tags are something else entirely. They can very well be telling, and they often tell in a cringeworthy way.
A dialogue tag is the little attachment to a dialogue line that assigns a speaker (e.g. “he screamed,” “she said angrily”).
Dialogue tags are often horrible cesspools of showing, so please be very careful with them!
“She said jokingly,” or “he said knowingly,”…? Seriously?
That’s an over-explanatory label and bad telling. Frankly, to me it looks like the author is desperate. Like he didn’t find any other way to express himself than hastily sticking that explanation to the end of the sentence.
You will do much better to leave out such an attachment. Instead, make your figure express the joking demeanor through her dialogue line itself. You can also use body language, it makes for great showing and will paint a nice image in your reader’s mind.
How about this?
Much better. This is ‘show, don’t tell.’
How to Show Don’t Tell
I promised you examples, and examples you shall see. I hope the following list will engrave show, don’t tell deeply into your subconscious, and inspire you to always show off… I mean, to show in your stories!
A. Show don’t tell descriptions
‘Show don’t tell’ is most obvious with descriptions. Go into details! Split up that one adjective into several smaller observations. Describe enough details, and a vivid image will pop up in your reader’s head.
Don’t do it like this:
The Ferris wheel looked fun.
Do it like this:
The Ferris wheel had silly clowns painted on its sides, and its baskets had little umbrellas in red, green and blue as canopies.
Don’t do it like this:
Tessa was a lovely lady.
Do it like this:
In came Tessa. She nodded politely in all directions, and it seemed like she acknowledged every single person with a warm smile, directed at them personally.
B. Show don’t tell emotions
When you describe emotions, it’s easy to forget showing. It’s easy to just tell that your character feels “happy,” or “sad” or “embarrassed.”
But instead of telling how your character feels, try to show it; body language and dialogue are both great for that.
Don’t do it like this:
Roger was bored.
Do it like this:
Roger’s foot was tapping a steady rhythm onto the ground, and later he started doodling on a sheet of paper. It seemed to him like the hour would never pass.
Don’t do it like this:
Erika was annoyed that Mark still hadn’t returned her book about climate change.
Do it like this:
Erika looked him straight in the eye and said: “You still haven’t returned my book about climate change. What are you waiting for, the polar caps to melt?”
C. Show don’t tell activities
Whatever your characters are doing, you should consider to ‘Show, don’t tell’ it. If the action is not very interesting or meaningful, a quick telling verb might be better. But if it’s worthy exploring, go deeper and show.
Don’t do it like this:
Henrietta ate a lot that day.
Do it like this:
That day, Henrietta ate chicken with vegetable risotto, a huge bowl of mixed salad, fries, and three slices of that chocolate biscuit cake she just couldn’t resist.
Don’t do it like this:
Milo opened the door and shot the guy in the protective suit.
Do it like this:
Milo opened the door, aimed with a calm pulse, and shot the guy in the protective suit right between the eyes.
D. Show don’t tell setting/mood
If you want to get under your reader’s skin with a moody setting, you have to ‘show, don’t tell.’ What about this place evokes its mood? Describe the physical details; use nouns, verbs and senses.
Don’t do it like this:
The waterfall looked majestic.
Do it like this:
The waterfall was 300 feet/100 meters high, and the cascade dropped down from the sharp cliff with roaring thunder.
Don’t do it like this:
The rubbish dump at night looked creepy and unsettling to Randy.
Do it like this:
Dark trash piled up around Randy in all sorts of grotesque forms, like he was walking a deep abyss. Crooked shadows seemed to be on the hunt, and the nasty smell of plastic litter and food remains stung in his nose.
I wanted to write “the nasty smell of litter stung in his nose,” but then I changed my mind and showed more details. Now it’s even nastier, don’t you think…?
Show Don’t Tell PDF
You can get the most important tips of this post all summarized on one sheet; just download this PDF. Put it next to you while you write, so you never lose sight of ‘Show, don’t tell.’ The PDF also contains an additional page to practice your ‘Show, don’t tell.’
Show Don’t Tell Exercise
Now it’s time to practice your ‘show, don’t tell,’ so you will use it automatically when you write. Once you don’t have to think about it anymore, you can concentrate on the creative, fun part of your story.
The following examples all tell in blatant and obvious ways. Pick one or more of them, and convert them into showing:
Kayla was a talented piano player.
The lawnmower was broken.
It was a restless squirrel.
Those guests were loud and obnoxious.
The audience of the concert was enthusiastic.
Greg was in a sociable mood.
Winny felt shy.
Rhonda decorated the table in a cute way.
Andy climbed up the lamppost.
The factory was very neat and clean.
The forest looked magic.
Now post your exercise in the comments below, like all of these brave commenters before you did.
Also, if you are looking for writing prompts for (almost) every genre; dialogue, character, short story, story starter etc… prompts, you can find them on the creative writing prompts page. It’s a massive collection of 63 detailed, fun prompts.
Showing You the Door
If you can show your readers a scene, you will have an exciting story. Showing takes more effort than telling, but it will make your scene come alive. Use lots of details, and describe with nouns, verbs and senses. Be careful with adjectives and variations of the word “to be,” they tend to be telling. Dialogue lines themselves are always showing, so let your characters talk!
In case of doubt, ask yourself the golden question: How do I notice she is quick/he is happy/etc…?
‘Show, don’t tell,’ is your best friend. If you can do just this one thing alone, your readers will dive into your scenes head over heels. They will have beautiful flowers to touch, spooky houses to enter, elegant parties to celebrate.
They will live in your story, and they will love it!
Image Credits – Header Pic “Living Book”: Patriartis/DeviantArt; Mortgage Pic: High level specialist/Shutterstock; Turd Pic: AlexHliv/Shutterstock; Evil Banana: Barandash Karandashich/Shutterstock; Middle Finger: Franco Volpato/Shutterstock; Death by Fruit: nuvolanevicata/Shutterstock
