How to write a kissing scene that melts your readers’ hearts (plus juicy sex scene advice)

How to write a kissing scene that melts your readers’ hearts (plus juicy sex scene advice)

83 Remarkable Comments

Why is all of your real-life romance exciting, while your kissing scenes read so lame?

Whenever you were the protagonist of romance in real life: Palpitations, edginess, Learjets… I mean, butterflies in your stomach. Or at least steamy windows in your eyes.

And on paper?

Shallow words, predictable actions, and empty shells of emotions.

Why is that? And how can you get to the heart of what makes a kissing scene exciting, and transfer that onto paper? How to write a kissing scene that will truly accelerate your readers’ pulse?

Not an easy task. But this post will equip you with all the tools you need. Read on to get answers to these questions:

  • How can you stay far, far away from any cliché?
  • What are some excellent tricks to let your readers feel the love?
  • Why is awkwardness your best friend?
  • How can you take advantage of your personal experiences as secret wonder weapons?
  • And yes, it’s gonna get juicy and steamy too in the end…

But before we get into it, read this kissing scene and tell me what you think:

Heavy rain was pattering down on the streets.

“Wait, wait,” he suddenly shouted from behind, running after her. “You forgot something…”

Under her umbrella, she turned around surprised, with an expectant look on her face: “What is it?”

Panting he stood before her: “You forgot to give me a chance to tell you that I love you. More than I have ever imagined that I could love someone!”

“Oh, Mike!” She fell round his neck. Suddenly teardrops were mixing with the pouring rain: “I promise to love you forever, every single day of eternity,” she sighed. “Being with you is… like magic.”

They kissed passionately under the open sky, lost in a bubble of time and space, not even noticing the heavy waterfalls pouring down on them while they were getting soaking wet.

 

Did this scene touch you deeply? Did it get to you?

To me, it did nothing.

What you just read is a pile of clichés we have seen a thousand times before, all pressed into one single scene. I just fed you a learned code instead of serving you fresh fiction; yes, I force-fed you a learned code like traffic signals or like the bell that trained Pavlov’s dogs. The signals above are intended to get you salivating romantically… ring, ring!

Cliché setting? Check (“Heavy rain was pattering down on the streets.”)

Cliché expressions? Check (“I promise to love you forever, every single day of eternity”)

Cliché feelings? Check (“…I love you. More than I have ever imagined that I could love someone”)

Cliché comparisons and similes? Check (“Being with you is… like magic.”)

In short, the snippet above contains too many clichés and relies way too much on what the author thinks romance should look like.

Fiction needs to speak truth, it needs to be raw and bold and unconditional, it has to touch our inner beings – like love. It shouldn’t be a preformed template.

Here is the problem though: No feeling in fiction is harder to convey than love. That’s because being in love is a feeling that escapes any description – it’s too exciting; too strange; too magnetic; too rare.

Pain, joy, disappointment, anxiousness are all easier to describe than love. They are more one-dimensional, more common and in most situations not as overwhelming as love.

Because love is so difficult to describe, many writers circle around it. Instead of taking a shot at painting the feeling itself for you, they give you placeholders you recognize from movies: “Ah, they are saying they will love each other forever! That’s how it works in romance novels, so that must mean it’s a wonderful romance.”

This post aims to show you a couple of ways to craft more authentic kissing scenes, drawing from deep inside, step by step.

And once you have gulped down all of the theory in gallons (or litres), I have something really cool for you:

The How to Write a Kissing Scene Template

Download this How to Write a Kissing Scene template to make sure you include the spiciest ingredients in your own kissing scenes. The template will guide you through your entire scene. Just print it out and fill it in, so you have everything ready at one glance. It also contains short reminders for the most important points of this post.

Free Kissing Scene Template

No spam, ever.

How to get rid of all of the clichés and write a heart-felt kissing scene

When you are writing a kissing scene, you are Cupid in the sky. You are flying high above your two love-birds with your bow and cutie locks. It’s your challenging task to bring them together with the power of your pen and arrow. Look:

 

How to Write a Heart-Melting Kissing Scene (With Free Template)

It’s like you were mixing your protagonists a love potion with several ingredients. You don’t always need to include all of the ingredients, the following are just offerings. But the more of them you use, the stronger your love potion will be…

Let’s see which parts make for an irresistible kissing scene, from beginning to end:

1. Setting the Scene: Let Your Guy and Girl Talk Differently

There is a big misconception about men and women.

Maybe it’s just a misconception of language, because when somebody says, “Men and women are equal,” they are only half right: We are equal in value, but not equal in nature.

We don’t feel alike. We don’t act alike. We don’t talk alike.

For example, can you quickly tell if the following phrase likely comes from a man or from a woman?

“Do you think he/she looks better than me?”

How about the following one, man or woman?

“If he does this again, I will teach him some manners!”

Call me biased, but the first phrase is much more likely to come from a woman, and the second much more likely to come from a man. Women just tend to be more concerned about their looks, and we men have big egos…

So the first step is to keep in mind to lend different voices to your boy and your girl. Let the differences between man and woman get into your scene.

2. Early Stage: What do your lovers have in common? Let them explore!

There is one thing all romances share in real life, and that’s definitely not a cliché: It’s the lovers’ commonalities.

The salt in the soup of any romantic encounter is discovering what you have in common:

Tom and Marry are discovering how they have both seen every single season of that awesome TV show. Or that they both love mountaineering. Or that a trip to India shaped both of their values.

Richard and Barbara are discovering that they both share the same thoughts about happiness. Or about marriage. Or about Donald Trump.

Floyd and Lara are discovering that they share that annoying tick of opening public doors only with their elbows (germs!). Or that they are both doctors. Or that they both want to move to France one day.

What excites them is not as important as why it excites them though. The point is the feeling they share: Maybe spending time on majestic mountains gives them a sense of freedom and purity. Maybe they both became doctors to help people. Or because they felt pressured to become something “better” by their families. Discovering that the other one exactly understands them will make their eyes light up.

Let them talk about how they feel, and what their passions and fears are. Then let them feel that strong affection when they feel understood and “at home.”

3. Early Stage: Desires, Hopes and Dreams

Nothing connects more than sharing the same vision. If you can get your characters to get excited about each other’s dreams, you will be a potent love wizard. Admiring who the other one is or what they can do, can also make your characters desire each other.

Mara wants to be a DJ, and she admires James’ passion and talent for painting; he wants to live off his art one day.

Rudy is working with Amnesty International and wishes for world peace. He likes that Sally has a big heart for stray dogs. They find that they would love to go on a charity mission to Africa together one day.

This entire point is just a sub-item of the previous one. As it’s such a strong ingredient in your potion, it deserves to be emphasized.

4. Heating it up: Yes, make it awkward!

When you are really attracted to somebody, you want them to feel the same. That often makes you insecure and shy. So don’t be afraid to show some awkwardness!

If you display awkwardness in your scene, it will make your readers remember their own romantic experiences and connect even more. Plays right into your cards, Julia (or Romeo)!

But insecurity only comes up once they really like each other and have something to lose. So only insert that awkwardness once your lovers-to-be like other.

Here are some possibilities for awkwardness: Your characters could talk about how much they like the other one.

Or they could share something so private it makes them feel uneasy.

Some signs for awkwardness: Your characters could be beating around the bush, or even stuttering; some body language you can use: Fidgeting, kicking the ground, turning away, neck touching, avoiding eye contact, etc…

And of course… the big, red-eared, tight-lipped mother of all awkwardnesses: Dead silence…

How to Write a Heart-Melting Kissing Scene (With Free Template)

5. Heating it up: Less is often more

Don’t always let your characters plainly say what they mean!

The finest notes in good love scenes are often articulated without words. And sometimes the lovers bring out their thoughts delayed or in short form. It’s because their situation feels like a tight-rope act. A lot of desires, reservations, suspicions and fears play into romance.

Kissing scenes are ideal to use some hidden meaning! Your figures have very believable reasons not to talk. It could be awkwardness, reservation, or just that they don’t know what to say next.

Maybe they think they have to say something and suddenly say: “This is a nice place here!” or “It’s hot today!” You know, the stuff people say when they don’t know what to say…

Operate with unspoken words, silence, a sentence too short at the right time. Like I showed you above, you can let body language speak for itself.

This technique should force your reader to read between the lines; to turn on her own imagination, which is the most amazing thing you can do for her. Let your reader watch her very own movie!

Here is a quick example:

“Sometimes I feel like there is nobody to turn to,” Joe said, “like… like the world is an empty place. Do you know what I mean?”

Scarlet just stared at her shoes.

“Nobody,” he said.

6. Still heating it up: Draw from your embarrassingly private experiences

Movies and TV shows hold pre-canned experiences ready for us. But don’t commit the error we just talked about in the introduction. Don’t fall back on clichés just to make it easier for you, or because you feel like you don’t have the ability to describe something with your own words.

That would be like sidestepping the challenge.

Instead, draw from your private treasure trove of experiences.

In other words: Risk something!

Drawing from your own past experiences is a great way to avoid clichés and to make your kissing scene raw and real. The more it makes you cringe to write about them, the better. Go where it hurts!

You have a broad range of emotions in your arsenal as a writer: Anger, hurt, attraction, admiration, enthusiasm, guilt etc… Let your characters draw from all of this. Love is complicated.

Try to express things the way they felt to you personally when you were there, not in the way you have seen in movies or read in books.

For example, do you have an ex-suitor or boyfriend who had a hard time expressing his feelings, and that made you undesired and confused you? Or did you try to kiss a girl and she turned her head away, even though she was clearly attracted?

Use these bits and pieces!

Oh, and one more thing. Try not to use the word “love” in your scene. It’s so overused it has become one giant cliché in itself. You can find it everywhere, be it in movies, novels or song lyrics, not to speak of oversized ads or everyday language.

Instead of using the word “love,” just describe what love does to your characters. That will make a lot more impact. It will make you become a better writer.

Using your private experiences means that you will have to get naked and expose bits and pieces of your private feelings for everybody to see. Luckily, nobody knows which parts stem from you personally and which parts you just made up. And contrary to an actor, you don’t have to pour out your soul directly in front of an audience. You have the laptop screen between you and your readers to protect you…

7. Boiling over: The Kiss

Are you ready for the kiss…?

It is what this whole buzz allegedly is about: Two people pressing their lips against each other, gnawing and sucking. It’s supposed to be good.

Make sure to introduce the kiss at a high point:

Gerry hears how sweet Gina says he has a cute smile… and leans forward to kiss her.

Randy has to laugh about a cute joke Laura makes and playfully motions her to come closer, so he can kiss her.

Noah confesses to Olivia that he has loved her for eighth months, but never had the guts to tell her… and he leans forward for the kiss.

Make sure the kiss is the cream topping on a remark, a notion or an idea that we have heard the moment before.

8. Going even further: Steamy Windows

You still want more? Oh, you! What kind of smut are you looking for? He he…!

You can always just cut your scene before any sex part, and just hint at the sex. But if you want to include sex in your scene, the trick is to make it not prude, but not too graphic either. Hm, how about this?

He was with her like a bee that landed on a flower.

Not really… besides its over-the-top cheesiness, it’s also very prude. This text is scared of what it wants to describe. And the following one?

He [xxx] and [xxx] her [xxx], pressed her down and [xxx] [xxx] [xxx].

Nope; unless you are a porn director… That’s too hardcore.

So you will have to find a middle way, and without sounding cheesy. How about this:

He could feel her soft, warm body underneath him, and he caressed her thighs, while he slowly began to thrust inside of her.

And there you have it… your complete kissing scene that will get under your readers’ skin. Now it’s time for the cigarette after. And also to download this awesome template:

 50 Shades of Grey (Free Love Scene Template)50 Shades of Grey

The How to Write a Kissing Scene Worksheet

Make this worksheet the backbone of your kissing scene. Just fill it out, and you will have the most important ingredients of your scene ready at one glance. Then you can concentrate on writing your scene (it also summarizes the most important points of this post):

Kissing Scene Template

No spam, ever.

Kissing Scene Writing Prompt

Owen and Paola are two waiters at a diner. They have been flirting for a while. During a smoking break amongst dusty storage cartoons, they finally kiss. Describe the scene!

You can insert anything that’s described in this post: A commonality that brings them together, some desire they lay out (maybe to get out of that greasy diner?), a bit of awkwardness, maybe silence, one private moment from your own love life, and finally what we all came for: The kiss!

Just write out two paragraphs of the scene, a snippet that tells us what this is all about.

Then post your prompt in the comments. Yes, just do it, seriously! I will give you a kiss for it.

By the way, you can find some really fun romance writing prompts here. The page is a massive collection of 63 detailed creative writing prompts for all genres and occasions.

Harness the Power of Being Real

With this post, you now have it in your hands: Describing an extraordinary kissing scene that will go deep under your readers’ skin and remind them of their own past loves. Download that template, and go way past clichés, to the raw and real core of a beautifully crafted love scene.

Love is the most amazing feeling we have – and if your story shares a heart-melting kissing scene, you have an unforgettable tale at your hands…

 

Images: Header Image: LuckyN/Shutterstock; Cupid in the Sky: rangizzz/Shutterstock; Romance: Ganna Demchenko/Shutterstock; Bee: succo/Pixabay

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83 Remarkable Comments. Join in!



83 Comments

  1. Ellie

    It’s hard to read the content on this page because the social-sites icons, e.g., Facebook, Twitter, etc  are covering the content. Very annoying! 

    1. Alex

      That should definitely not happen. Which device are you reading the post on (mobile, desktop, browser, etc…)? If you can give me more info, I will look into this to avoid it next time.

      For now, my guess is if you change your device, the text will look fine.

      1. Will Bontrager

        Hi Alex,

        The main issue is the left margin of the content is about 30 pixels. The social media buttons look to be about 50 pixels wide. So there’s an overlap somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 pixels

        That’s fine for windows over about 1100 pixels wide. (It can tested with a desktop browser, making it wider and narrower to see the effect.)

        It’s also fine for windows less than somewhere around 500 pixels wide. At that point, the social media icons pop to the bottom of the page.

        Will

        1. Alex

          Hi Amber, that’s good to hear.

          Don’t put too much pressure on yourself with trying to implement all of this. Just take one or two things out of the post for your next love scene, and then maybe another tip for the love scene after that.

          The most important thing is for you to keep writing. And this post won’t go away anytime soon, you can always come back to it to refresh your memory.

    2. Anna

      @Ellie, no it’s not (on desktop). Please still be polite to the author. Anyway, you can hover below the crown icon in the social buttons and see the DOUBLE ARROW which you can click to hide these buttons. Hope it helps. Have a great day to everyone

  2. Bill Johnston

    Very helpful guide. But here is a challenge for you: Try rewriting this article, but this time let your lovers be of the same sex. I don’t think too much will change but you will have to “kiss” a few more cliches goodbye.

    1. Alex

      I love that idea! While writing the post, it did feel a bit weird to ignore all same sex romance. I can’t make the post too long though and have to stick to what most readers write about, which is man/woman.

      But send me your rewrite when it’s done! 😉

  3. Valeria

    I was actually hoping you would redo the clichéd scene and put it at the end of this post to show us how to put it all together. But great post nevertheless. I like your sense of humor! :]

  4. Will Bontrager

    A quick draft, but I think it has potential:
    ———
    I expected the same forceful kiss, the same inept groping, the same “I think I’m falling in love” grunts, the same neediness. The same disinterest after his load gets popped.

    And that’s exactly what I got.

    I scooted down the stairway in a mental turmoil of “when will things ever change!” and burst onto the sidewalk.

    Literally burst, as in barging into a guy and popping the party balloon he was carrying along – both of us decked on the sidewalk, me on top.

    He saw right through me. Maybe it was my smeared lipstick. Or the one gaudy stocking. Or the lingering semen smell.

    “You know, so long as you continue popping guys who live above storefronts, you’ll continue being their tool. Maybe it’s time to turn things around. Make the guy your tool.”

    That’s what he said. To turn things around!

    And here I was, lying on top.

    His occasional squirm tells me he was getting uncomfortable being squished between my weight and the hard sidewalk. But I didn’t move. Didn’t want to. Perhaps couldn’t, right then. The biological fluids were coursing through my body with a power I’ve never experienced before.

    I looked into his eyes. He knew that I knew he was uncomfortable. And I knew that he knew I was something wickedly turned on.

    When he smiled, eyes alight, I smashed my lips onto his in the first kiss I ever controlled.

    1. Will Bontrager

      Oops. As I reread your article, I see you were asking for a writeup of the scene in the writing prompt. Read too fast, the first time, or just didn’t notice because I had my own scenes in mind. So the above can be ignored.

      Will

      1. Alex

        Won’t be ignored. This is a writing blog, and you are always welcome to post your writing.

        I loved the storytelling, fun scene, and you are taking an unusual angle. Some language problems though, e.g. you are switching times (“His occasional squirm tells me…”). But it made me smile and is exactly what the post is talking about. Thanks for posting!

        1. Will Bontrager

          Alex, it took me 2 weeks to get over the “language problem” comment :). (No, not at all. I appreciate it. Been updating my website and, unfortunately, everybody else’s sites seemed less important.)

          Something about first drafts. I tend to read them over and congratulate myself for the unique and effective turns of phrase and emotion-magnet story line and go have myself a beer in celebration. Then several days later I reread the draft and deflate all the way flat to the floor. Isn’t it a weird self-delusional trait I have?

          Anyway, been putting popcorn stories on my website (100-400 word stories, fiction or non-fiction). Don’t know whether or not your system allows URLs in blog posts, so I won’t post it. People can click my name. The first popcorn story is the story about how and why popcorn stories came to be and gives a better description of what a popcorn story is (and is not).

          Thank you for your kind comment about the story.

          I see an email just arrived with a notice you have another blog post, about mad creativity, a guest post. Will go have a read.

          Hey, maybe I’ll accept guest popcorn stories, like some bloggers accept guest posts. Gotta think about it.

          Will

          1. Alex

            Hey Will! Popcorn story, that sounds so movie-like. I want to lean back in my velvety seat and read, read, read away. 🙂

            One link per comment is fine; any more than that and the comment won’t pass the spam filters.

          2. Will Bontrager

            Yes, popcorn does have pleasure associations with movies. Also with my childhood when Mom would make popcorn on the stovetop in a special saucepan. It had a handle in the lid that turned a wire along the bottom to dislodge stuck kernels. Called, as expected, a popcorn popper. She would tell a story while the popcorn was being heated to occupy us kids so we wouldn’t get fidgety for how long it took (in kid time). Although we expected it, our eyes always bugged out when the popcorn volume got so big it lifted the lid right up from the popcorn popper an inch or two.

            Here’s the page with the popcorn story that describes what a popcorn story is and how and why the category was created.

            https://willbontrager.com/popcorn-stories/

            The more I think about it, the more I think I’ll be publishing guest stories in the not-too-distant future.

            Will

  5. Ellen Chauvet

    Hi Alex,

    great coaching. In the second book in my series I will be writing same sex (male/male), sex scenes. With your template I can create it with little or no struggle. So appreciate your posts. They always make a difference.

        1. Alex

          When I lived in Madrid for a year, I had two gay guys as roommates (they were not a couple). It all works a little bit differently with them.

          When you want to be a writer, nothing beats life experience.

  6. Venu Tanneru

    Oh My Goodness. This article can heat up anyone. The way you explained the kissing scene followed by the sex can make anybody horny in minutes. There are bad erotic writers who follow the cliché as you mentioned. They do not open up and experiment. That’s the major problem. Excellent stuff and will definitely check out your kissing scene worksheet for my project. Thank you for sharing this.

  7. Christine Robinson

    Alex, thanks so much for this timely post! I’ve got a proposal scene (protagonist & boyfriend) in my book with a kiss involved of course. Your suggestions will help make it better. Plus I haven’t yet worked up the first kiss. I’m on the right track though with no worn out love words. Christine 

    1. Alex

      Hey Christine, a proposal scene is the perfect opportunity to inject a big dosage of romance into your story, so to speak… Nothing more romantic than “I want to spend my life with you.” Good to hear the post helps you.

  8. Durga

    Wow, what an excellent post. Everyone may not say out their interest on reading a kissing scene but everyone has a desire of reading. And readers get involved in such scenes only when the writing is such great. But writing these romantic things is not so easy. This post definitely helps the writers to improve their romantic writings. 🙂

  9. Pingback: June Recommended Links on Writing |

  10. Eddie Matt

    Hey Alex. Here’s a draft of the scene prompt. Didn’t really give me that umph, but well, it helped.
    Do let me know what you think, thanks!
    ———————————————
    The first bell rang. Paola groaned, taking a long draw at her cigarette stub.
    “Five minutes.” Owen casually puffed a cloud of blue-gray smoke into the musty air. “Then back to hell.”
    “Why do you have to remind me that all the time?” Paola shifted uneasily, the dusty carton leaving a smudge on her stained white shirt. She started to brush at it, when Owen laughed.
    “What’s so funny, idiot?”
    “Will Ben really notice that? I mean, the shirt’s as filthy as hell already; why bother trying to clean it?”
    “That’s something that makes working at this place shittier. Who allows waiters in greasy shirts serve fat guys greasy food in order to make them fatter and disgusting?” Paola grunted, and dragged at her stub, pushing her wild hair from her face.
    “Well, I am fat and disgusting,” Owen chuckled, rubbing at his less-than-flat belly.
    “That’s from all the drippings from the grill Bill gives you every time you go place an order.”
    “Sorry, can’t help it. Just like you cant help wishing you’d be out of this place.” He stretched and let out a long sigh, releasing another puff of smoke.
    Paola took the cigarrete from his stained fingers, tossing hers aside. “I should have never tod you that,” she muttered, her dark eyes narrowing as she gazed at a speck of dust floating in the air.
    “I also should have never told you that it was my dream to have a diner of my own.” Owen sat up, and shifted his feet uncomfortably. “It fuelled the hopes you have of leaving this muck.”
    “Yes it did, Owen.” She turned to face him, and noticed his eyes flick to the floor. “I saw your ambition, your hope, and I felt like I needed that as well.” He looked up at her, the shafts of sunlight from the grubby window turning his amber eyes into gold pools.
    The second bell rang. Two minutes.
    “Well, we better get back to work, Paola.” He stood up, took a stretch and held his hand out to Paola. She took it, and he helped her up to his feet. “Ready to face hell?” He grinned at her. She gave a small smile.
    He pushed her hair away from her face. For a moment, the silence held them in its grip. She realised he was still holding her hand. She realised she had tightened her grip on his. Her burnt cinnamon eyes, his the golden colour of fresh frying oil. The smell of cheap tobacco on their breath, mingling with the faint must of mouldy carton boxes.
    A strand of hair fell forward, over her forehead. Owen pushed it back, and pulled Paola closer, closer until he felt her lips on his. The taste of him almost revolted her, but beneath the tobacco she tasted desire. Did she also sense her own, mingled with her smoky spit? He felt her fingers dig into the soft flesh on his back, then run into his thick woolly hair. She sensed his large hands on the small of her back, pulling her closer, closer…
    The bell rang, startling them out of their passion. Their lips glistened with saliva, their eyes glazed over. Paola let out a small laugh; Owen smiled at seeing one of her rare moments of happiness. “Idiot,” she said to him
    “Paola.”
    “I think,” she started, setting her hair in place, “that I can now face hell.”

    1. Alex

      Eddie, this is great! It has everything, from psychology to drama to pacing, surroundings, senses… It includes what this post was busily preaching, and a touch of novelty too. Cudos to you!

      ‘Nuff said.

  11. Hope Evans

    This is the best advice I’ve read in a while! I also personally feel that the more vocal the characters are with their emotions, the less profound and touching the scene becomes. So I usually resort to more of showing than telling, although I’m not sure if that’s the right way to do it. However, this is some great advice, and I’ll definitely incorporate it in my narrative. Thanks, Alex!

    1. Alex

      Hello Hope! More showing than telling is good most of the time; and it’s the sign of a writer who handles his/her scenes well.

      Go for it, and I wish you an exciting and intriguing love scene!

  12. Pamela

    This passage is from my WIP. It’s a rough draft.

    The storm raged as Philippa stumbled down the steps into the collonade, tears fell from her eyes and her nose ran. The glass appeared to be liquid as the rain flowed down it in sheets, lightning flashing and thunder rolled around her. The storm was nothing to what was tearing her apart. She had to clear her head; she had to find the rational part of her mind. Why couldn’t she remember that simple little tune and words that brought comfort to her daughter? It had been five long years since Thomas died and the lullaby with him. She only remembered the Scottish tunes her mother and father sang to her when she was a wee babe, the ones she sang to Sarah. Her heart broke anew as William, had tenderly picked up her little girl. He crooned the simple melody she had forgotten as he slow marched up and down the hall, her daughter’s cries subsiding as she lay down upon the soldier’s wide uninjured shoulder and fell asleep her favorite doll, Miss Bessie, lying limply over his well-muscled bicep.

    Not long after she sought refuge, she heard William lightly trod down the steps into the collonade walking toward her his boot heel ringing across the pavers. “Your father took Sarah up to bed. She’s resting peacefully now.” Stepping closer he saw Philippa’s tears, drawing a handkerchief from his sleeve with his good hand he touched it to her cheeks carefully dabbing the tears away. “I’ll never hurt a child,” he assured her. “If you think I’m a threat, I’ll leave.”

    “No, don’t leave, Sarah’s fond of you,” she paused, “As am I.” His smile reached his golden-brown eyes and stretched his arms out to her. She stepped into the embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist, laying her head on the shoulder that comforted her daughter. She hadn’t been comforted by a man since her husband and son died. “How do you know that song?”

    “It’s an old English lullaby. My grandfather was a don at Oxford before he came into his title. He studied Classics and Olde English. He sang it to my father in turn my father sang it to me. It was the first tune to come to my mind to comfort Sarah.” William slowly rubbed his hand over her back feeling the strength of the woman in his arms.

    “It was one my husband sand to her. She’s forgotten nearly everything about him.”

    “That’s a shame; I’m certain he had cherished her. She is a darling little moppet.”

    Philippa smiled, “That she is.” She listened to the strong rhythm of his heart beating. Only a week ago his troop had been attacked and captured by the Continentals, leaving him behind believing him to be dead. She and her father struggled hard to save him from his wounds and the fever that followed.

    She felt him tightened his hold on her pressing her against his hard body and his response. She shifted to face him. He looked into her stormy gray eyes the lightning reflected in them. “I came here to talk to your father about the thefts going on in the area and the rumors about a company raised but never mustered in with the Continentals. But seeing you again, this soldier’s heart…” he bent his head over her and kissed her.

    Philippa raised her arms, from his waist over his chest to his neck drawing him in allowing him to deepen the kiss their tongues sliding together as if in a dance. She ran her hands over his wavy brown hair to his queue pulling it loose allowing the hair to flow over his shoulders. She broke the kiss with gentle pressure on his chest. The storm was subsiding outside, and the temperature was beginning to fall, “Let’s go back inside.” She tucked herself under his injured arm and led him through the parlor to his room, closing the door behind her.

  13. Pamela

    Thanks, I’ve written most of my life but am new to writing romance. The mystery genre is my natural form. Last year, I decided to try this to help bring depth to my work and possibly publish. I appreciate this blog and the fun exercises. They have helped me to stretch my writing boundaries.

  14. Emily

    I am a horror writer and this is a new field of writing for me, I am also only 12.
    Owen left to smoke just a few seconds before and before I could stop myself I was following him. Outside, among the dusty, rickety storage containers, he was taking a smoke. He ran his fingers through his short, bleached hair. My eyes continued down and took in the sight of pure perfection. His dark blue eyes sparkled against his vintage leather jacket. Through his black shirt you could see his abs, he might not admit it but he most definitely works out or works for The C.I.A. He wore black ripped jeans and a pair of white Adidas.
    “Do yah need a lighter?” He shouted from across the room in his thick English accent, he had lived in England until a year ago.
    “No, I am tryin’ to quit that crap.” My voice was boring and almost brittle, especially compared to his voice.
    “Not that I don’t like you but, why are you here?” The words dripped off his tongue like chocolate.
    “Oh, um, um.” I paused trying to think of something. “I came out here to kiss you.” Crap. I said that in my head, right?
    “Blimey,” Silence, and an awkward stare. The second felt like hours and as I covered my face my nose was set off. I was greeted by a masculine cologne. I looked up and Owen was wearing his traditional smirk, he knew that it would make me smile. He rested his hand on my scarred face, slowly moving his thumb, making me blush.
    “What happened to your face?”
    “Oh-um-I was in a car accident. It’s amazing what metal and glass can do.” What I didn’t tell him is that I lost my parents and my best friend in that accident.
    “Well, they are quite cute. One looks like a moon.” He leaned forward and whispered into my ear. “You are perfect.” He kissed my ear and walked away. Nope, he can’t do that. I was done with the teasing. I grabbed his collar and spun him around, drawing him incredibly close. I stood up on my toes and claimed his lips as mine.They were soft and warm causing my brain to shut down. He let me lead for a few seconds and then he shoved me against the containers. He made it clear that he was in charge and I didn’t want to change. I ran my hands through his hair and his hands wrapped around my bum. He slowly moved his mouth to my jaw, then my collar bone, then he moved back to my mouth. He nibbled my lip and then went back to kissing me. He slowly inserted his tongue and began a dance. He tasted like smoke and mint mixed with something sweet. He was contagious and I loved it.
    “Guys, break is over, get back to work.” Called my boss, Mr Lewis.
    “Meet me by my car after work Paola, I need to tell you something.”

    1. Alex

      Hey Emily, I love this! A lot of ambiguity in this scene on several levels, and it gets really hot towards the end.

      For example, in the sentence “What I didn’t tell him is that I lost my parents and my best friend in that accident.” —> The fact that she DOESN’T tell him adds a lot of depth.

      Oh, and a bit of romantic tension and suspense can definitely enrich a horror story as well. Good writing!

  15. Emily

    So this is from my book.
    “Can you come here Ezlyn?”
    “Sure David.” We walked into the woods and David started speaking.
    “Over this year I have realised how I need you in my life. I realised that I woke up to see you smile and laugh. I can’t live without you, I need you by my side.” “David,” This was very odd for him. “No let me finish. I need to love you. You are so special to me, you can’t even know how much I love you. I love you so much.” He leaned forward and I took a step back to find my back against a tree. My nose breathed in his sandalwood cologne and I was immediately calmed. He wiped a strand of hair from my face and gently began to kiss my lips. He wrapped his hands around my neck and the kiss became more aggressive. My stomach flipped and knotted as my knees became weak. Time stopped and both of our personalities changed. David became bold, I became shy, and I loved it. David stopped to breathe and then came back to my face. His kisses were like black holes pulling you in until you are lost. It was a sweet but bruising kiss that left me wanting more, but it wasn’t enough. I grabbed his collar, pulled his blue shirt and himself closer. I slipped my hands through his hair, getting caught on knottes. He picked me up and leaned me against the tree. I wrapped my legs around his waist, supporting myself. His tongue pressed against my lips, asking for permission to enter my mouth. I granted it to him. His mouth tastes like a sweet mint, spicy but not overwhelming. His grip slipped and we fell to the ground, he chuckled.
    “Hey, that was n-not fun-ny.” I whispered in between kisses.
    “Then let me kiss the pain away.”
    “Deal.” He laid on top of me kissing me, making me forget. He made me forget the past year almost completely. David slowed down until he stopped, leaving a searing heat on my lips.
    “Well, that was, uhh, hot.”
    “Hot, that is the word you came up with David. What about ravishing, heated, sweet, thrilling or even exciting.”
    “Yeah those words are better.”
    “Consider yourself lucky.”
    “Why, Ezlyn?”
    “Well I don’t kiss a lot of people.”
    “You haven’t kissed anyone before me have you?”
    “No. That is very rude to say, but, it might be true.” I whispered.
    “I haven’t kissed anyone either.” I smiled knowing that David was mine and only mine. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I rested on his chest. We fell asleep like that and I slept better that night than I ever did in the past year.
    When I woke up the next morning David was still asleep so I stayed on his chest. Then I felt his fingers mess with my hair.
    Tada!!!

    1. Morgan

      Alright. First of all, if you’re allergic to lesbians, go away. Second of all, a bit of context. Reiga and Eldra are both part of a dragon breeding place. More specifically, they hatch wyverns. So that’s where this part of the story starts.

      We headed to the sectioned-off part of our grotto, where the large braziers and nests rested in random places. Reiga set to building a fire while I set up a bed for a newly hatched wyvern. I didn’t have to give her any directions, and she didn’t have to say anything, because we had been through this process so many times before. After I finished, I came over to her and put the egg in the iron pot hanging over the brazier. Now we had to wait for the wyvern to do the rest.
      We sat in silence for a while, listening to the flames crackle.
      “That’s some really nice weather we have today.” she said.
      I knew that she was either feeling awkward or nervous about something or both, because neither of us had been outside today.
      I nodded, trying to see where this was going.
      Reiga started kicking around a piece of coal.
      She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but apparently thought better of it. She tugged at a loose strand of hair, curling it around her finger. The fire continued to crackle.
      “Um, is it hot in here or is it just me?” she asked.
      “It’s probably the fire.” I said.
      “Ah.”
      By now, my face had probably gone red. It was not like her to be this awkward, but I was used to awkward people.. So why did it feel so weird all of a sudden?
      Reiga reached for a poker and started tending to the dying fire. She finally sat back and brushed off her sooty hands. We sat there staring ahead for a while.
      “Nice pots.” she said. She must have meant the new hatching pots that had arrived yesterday.
      Like a moron, I said “Thanks”.
      It was only after I said it that I realized how stupid I sounded. I slapped my forehead, half expecting Reiga to give me a funny look, but she just stared straight ahead, blushing madly. She poked at the fire again, sending up a spray of sparks.
      Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore.
      “What is it you’re so nervous about?” I asked.
      She turned towards me and smiled hesitantly.
      “This.” she said, leaning in.
      The moment our lips touched, I almost forgot how to breathe. She tasted like freshly baked bread and cinnamon from her time baking bread for the wyverns this morning, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. However, I pulled her forward just a little too much, and I fell over backwards onto the bench, pulling her with me. Luckily, it didn’t ruin the moment. But the hatching pan starting to rattle did.

      1. Alex

        Love your scene! It’s a refreshing mix that brings lesbians to fantasy (?) sourroundings, taking full advantage of the unusual setting and the idea with the egg – which fits well, as lovemaking often leads to breeding…

        I’m assuming you wrote this after reading the post, as you are taking it really far with the “awkwardness” notion, again taking full advantage of the idea. That makes it funny on top, well done!

  16. Cassie

    I’m entirely new to romance, so this article was VERY helpful! Thanks! My first kiss scene went from cringe worthy to this:
    “Lucien.”
    The one word drew his attention to the woman curled up against him.
    “I don’t understand what this is.”
    Their hands subconsciously found each other as she spoke, fingers weaving together.
    “What do you mean?”
    “This… whatever it is. I want to believe it’s love but… I don’t know what love is. The last time I thought someone loved me, my mother abandoned me. I know I’m drawn to you, that if something were to happen to you it’d kill me inside, and I… I WANT to trust you, but I’ve been hurt so many times I’m scared to hope you feel anything real for me. So please, just tell me if this is to you what it is to me. Because if it isn’t I have to know before my hopes get too high.”
    Finally she looked up at him, but his gaze was settled on the fire. The way the flames danced in the reflection of his dark eyes heightened the show of emotions that were swirling in his mind. If eyes were truly the window to the soul, then his was a troubled one in that precious moment. After what seemed like an eternity he returned her gaze. When she felt his breath on her face she realized how incredibly close their faces had become by a simple turn of the head.
    “I’ve never been one for pouring out my heart, Rosetta.”
    “I know, but I need you to help me understand.”
    He pulled his hand out of hers and pushed a ginger strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers tracing down her jaw line.
    “How could I make you understand what you are to me?”
    “Just…tell me.”
    Her hand slid up his chest as her words came out in a faint whisper. Lucien’s mouth quirked in a small smile while his hand ghosted back up the side of her face.
    “Perhaps my actions can speak for me.”
    Before Rosetta could reply his hand cupped the her face and pulled it against his own, their lips colliding. She welcomed the gesture and returned it. The arm that had been wrapped around her tightened, pressing their bodies together. His hand crept up into her hair and tangled in it as her hand wrapped around his neck, the other exploring the well sculpted muscles of his chest through the fabric of his shirt. It was a better explanation of what they meant to each other than the most eloquent words could give. Crystal clear, yet so complex at the same time. A pledge of devotion, and a way of relinquishing that fear of rejection. Everything about that moment was passionate and tender, heavenly and fiery, strange and…perfect. Absolutely perfect.

  17. krista

    “God I hate this job.”

    Paola laughed. “Yeah?” she said. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I hate it too.”

    “Who doesn’t?” A gray puff of smoke escaped his lips, lost in the night sky. “I’m leaving soon.”

    “Oh?” A pause. “To America?”

    “Hell no. That place is just like this damn wasteland – maybe worse.”

    “Then where?”

    “I dunno.” Owen crushed the cigarette butt underneath his shoe. “But definitely with someone I can call home.”

    Paola laughed again. “Wow, okay. Sappy much?” She opened her mouth to say more, then stilled when she noticed the way he looked at her.

    There was a knowing smirk on his lips, something soft in his eyes. He started walking towards her, getting closer, and she could faintly hear her heartbeat.

    Owen pinned her against the brick wall, its rough texture cold against her back.

    “Can I kiss you?”

    His breath mixed with hers; it tasted like smoke, but she didn’t mind. And maybe her sense of smell was scuffed, too, because she almost liked it.

    Paola met his eyes – he was serious about this. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, too. Damn. She’d never seen him blush.

    “Head over heels for me, are you?” she breathed.

    He chuckled. “Is that a yes?”

    Paola answered his question by kissing him.

    She felt him inhale, then lose himself to her, as her fingers tangled in his hair. He tasted like smoke and coffee and something sweet, and she wanted more, more, more.

    Eventually their kiss drew to an end, and they locked eyes, both breathing heavily. Paola was still pinned against the wall, and she found herself drawn to his lips.

    “Wow.” He laughed. “That was… damn.”

    Paola smiled. “Cat stole your tongue, Owen?”

    He grinned, letting her go and running a hand through his mussed-up hair. “I’m just – good Lord, Paola, you are a really good kisser.”

    “I know.” She laughed. “Was I your best kiss, by any chance?”

    “I – I’m not answering that. Your ego’s already big as hell.”

    Paola bit back a smile. She’d kissed tons of boys (and girls), but none of them were like this. Not that she’d ever admit it. “Yeah yeah, we both know the truth, Owen.”

    He grinned. “I’m sure we do,” he said, before starting towards the restaurant’s door. “You coming?”

    Paola nodded, running to catch up. “Are we gonna run away together?” she teased.

    “No, we’re actually going back to hell.”

    “Hm. Maybe someday, then.”

    He laughed. “Maybe.”

    1. Alex

      Hi Genevieve, if your story gets published, then please don’t infringe on the copyright of the post.

      However, you can of course take examples as inspiration and twist and change them until they don’t sound like anything in this post anymore. Go ahead! 😉

  18. Mari

    I agree that women and men don’t talk alike or react alike, but I’m pretty sure that we feel alike.
    You may not hear a man say: “Do you think he/she looks better than me?” Because men are taught not to say that, but they care about how they look like. Maybe the ego prevents them from asking, but the need for validation has no gender.
    You may not hear a woman say: “If he does this again, I will teach him some manners!” Because women are taught not to say or do something like that. But there’s never been nor will never be a woman that won’t have a phrase like that at the tip of her tongue more often than not. Feeling disrespected has no gender, either.
    So, for me, female and male characters have the same feelings, but they express themselves differently. I always try to convey that.

    1. Alex

      Hi Mari, this leads us back to the old “nature vs nurture” disussion – are we more a product of our genes, or of our surroundings?

      To a certain degree, that´s a question of world view, and a topic for a looong discussion!

  19. Kaiden

    I’m pretty new to writing romance, and I would like some advice on how to improve this scene. Here’s a bit of context: Brook and Midnight recently met each other. Brook was dating a boy named Connor but was slowly falling in love with Midnight. This scene takes place right after Brook breaks up with Connor. Midnight had come to comfort Brook, and when Brook was explaining why she broke up with Connor, she mentions another person.

    “How are you?” Midnight asked.
    “Good, I guess. I still feel bad about Connor.” Brook said.
    “So, about this mysterious other person…” Midnight said. They were trying to hint to Brook that they liked her, but it didn’t seem to be working.
    “What about them?” Brook asked. Midnight rolled their eyes.
    “Who are they?” They asked. Brook sighed.
    “I guess it would be best to just tell you straight out that it’s you, sorry if that makes it awkward.” Brook said.
    “Awkward? No, Brook, I have a crush on you, too.” Midnight said. The two of them stood there in silence for a second.
    “This is awkward.” Brook decided.
    “Yeah, it is.” Midnight agreed.
    “Can I… can I kiss you?” Brook asked. Midnight nodded. Brook tilted her head slightly and gently pressed her lips against Midnight’s. She felt a sense of rightness as Midnight kissed her back. The world seemed to blur out, and all she knew in the whole world was Midnight. Brook wasn’t sure which end was up and which was down. Her knees grew weak and every concern she had before had melted away. All that was left was Midnight. They stood there like that, lips pressed together, Midnight’s arms around Brook’s neck, Brook’s on Midnight’s waist, for what felt like forever. They were completely lost in each other. Brook had never felt amazing in her whole life, not even when she had kissed Connor. At last, they pulled apart, looking at each other with glittering eyes.

    1. Alex

      I´m not really in the (free)-personal-writing-advice-giving-business, but at first glance, I was wondering why you are using “they” for Midnight and not just “he.” A few bits in your text are not precise and a bit confusing.

      “Brook had never felt amazing in her whole life” –> you mean she had never felt THAT amazing in her life? Or else a little explanation that she is feeling amazing right NOW would help. Otherwise, this might confuse the reader for a second.

      Other than that, your dialogue is quite straight forward. You could improve it by making it more indirect. For that, take a look at my post about Quentin Tarantino/Pulp Fiction.

  20. Riley

    After I read this, I decided to write a practice scene:

    Jane gasped as she realized it was Hannah, with her blonde hair blowing in the wind. Jane slowly walked towards Hannah, her bare feet making no sound as she waded through the sand. At last, Jane was standing next to Hannah, warm waves washing over her feet.
    “Hi,” Hannah said softly.
    “Hi, Hannah,” Jane sighed. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind blew off the ocean, knocking Hannah over. Jane quickly reached out and caught her long-time crush. She helped Hannah stand up straight again, and only then did she realize how close they were standing. Jane looked down at the ground awkwardly, shuffling a bit in the sand.
    “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” Hannah declared suddenly.
    “Er… yeah,” Jane agreed. Then silence. The awkwardness seemed to grow and grow… it seemed endless. Jane decided that she would have to be the one to attempt to end it. She tilted her head, lining her lips up with Hannah’s, and pressed herself against the beautiful girl in front of her. Jane suddenly realized the truth of what she was doing. SHE WAS KISSING HANNAH!!!! Hannah wrapped her arms around Jane´s waist and pressed her lips against Jane´s lips even harder. Everything around Jane blurred out. She was no longer aware of the seagulls swooping over the ocean, looking for fish, or the sound of waves crashing.
    Hannah kept going, making it very, very clear to Jane that she was going to be in charge. Jane reached up, her fingers brushing the top of Hannah’s bikini swimsuit. She wrapped her arms around Hannah’s neck, breathing heavily as the kiss continued. Hannah lifted Jane up, spinning her around, their lips never leaving each other. Hannah’s tongue touched Jane’s lips, asking permission to enter Jane’s mouth as Hannah set Jane back on the ground. Jane parted her lips slightly, allowing Hannah’s tongue to slip inside. Their tongues tangled, and Jane’s stomach knotted tightly, doing somersaults of joy and fear. Hannah ran her hands through Jane’s auburn hair. Jane never wanted it to end. Never. She wanted to spend the rest of her life like this, standing on the beach, her lips locked on Hannah’s.

    1. Alex

      Hi, I can see that you are the same person as Kaiden above and as Maya below. Here is a short comment about this scene:

      Make sure you don´t have passages that describe purely mechanical action run for too long. By mechanic, I mean anything that is purely physical, no thoughts, or, in particular for love scenes, no feelings involved. A love scene lives off emotions, and too much mechanical action lets it run dry, even if you bring in emotion afterwards.

      Hope this helps!

  21. Maia

    Here’s a kiss scene I wrote after I read this post (WARNING: if you don’t like or don’t support LGBTQ+ romance, get out of here):

    I stared at Elizabeth, my mouth open like an idiot.
    “You… you like me back?” I ask fidgeting nervously.
    “Of course. What’s not to like?” Elizabeth asks.
    “You mean like… as a friend, right?” I ask. Elizabeth scoffs.
    “Nicole. Don’t be dumb,” She says. I blush. I can feel her breath on my face.
    “I’m not dumb!” I say.
    “Yes, you are,” Elizabeth teases. I laugh. But inside, I’m freaking out. She’s standing so close to me! What do I do? There’s an awkward pause.
    “Er… where’s your sibling?” I ask, worried that Kamryn is going to walk into the living room and freak out.
    “E’s over at eir boyfriend’s house,” Elizabeth assures me. So we’re alone. Great.
    “So… um…” I say. Elizabeth looks down at the couch. Neither of us seems to know what to do. I’ve never been this close to anyone… I mean… I’m almost sitting on her lap.
    “I don’t know what to do,” Elizabeth admits.
    “I don’t know either,” I sigh. But I do know what to do. I lean closer and kiss Elizabeth on the lips. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see her face. For a second I think she isn’t going to kiss me back, but she does. She wraps her arms around me and tilts her head, kissing me back. I wrap my arms around her, tilting my head the other way. Her lips taste like lavender and are gentle and addictive. Adrenaline rushes through my body, and I never wanna stop. I had never expected this, as I had always thought of kissing as a waste of time. And yet here I was. Suddenly Elizabeth’s tongue was in my mouth. Our tongues tangled and went to war in our locked mouths, battling madly for dominance. Something in me changed, and this was all I wanted to do.

    1. Alex

      Girl with the many names, be careful not to mix present tense with past tense (“I stared…”). And if you use “ask” as a dialogue tag back-to-back, that usually doesn´t sound good; some variation is needed.

      I really like your last paragraph – this is very good! For example, the following is witty:

      “I don’t know what to do,” Elizabeth admits.
      “I don’t know either,” I sigh. But I do know what to do.

  22. Usama Ali

    Here is how I will describe a Kissing Scene, please rate my writing Alex;
    “Their eyes locked in a moment of pure anticipation, their lips slowly moving closer until they finally met in a passionate kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other, pulling each other closer as their tongues danced in a fiery embrace. The world around them faded away as they lost themselves in the moment, their hearts beating as one. It was a kiss that conveyed all the love, desire, and emotion that they had been holding back for so long, finally unleashed in one intense and unforgettable moment.”

    1. Alex

      Hi Usama, and sorry for the massive delay!

      Not bad, but your snippet would profit from a bit more ideas/individuality. All of this has been written many times before. It certainly conveys passion and intensity though.

  23. Steve

    I’d love to get feedback on this. I’m a man trying to write from the POV of a woman, if that helps at all.
    ———

    All of Kaylie’s confidence was beginning to slip away. Estia was in the hands of Niruku security and Ray was ready to leave them behind. It seemed like it was all unraveling quickly.

    “Can’t you just stay?” she asked.

    Ray said, “If things go south, try to get back to the ship. If you get back there without me, just take off. Just go.”

    Kaylie was shocked. “I am not going to leave you behind. And I don’t know how to fly the ship.”

    “Don’t you get it?” he asked. “My life doesn’t matter. Yours does. The ship can fly itself, mostly.”

    “No, we are not going to split up,” Kaylie said. It was her turn now to grab him by the arm.

    “I need to find Bradford!” Ray said. “While I can.” He pulled away from her and was two steps down the hallway before she could react.

    She closed the distance quickly, “Ray!” she said, pleading with him. She wasn’t sure what she would say to convince him to stay with them.

    He turned to face her, and it was so abrupt that she went crashing into his chest; and then somehow his arms were around her and hers around him. She looked up at him and she saw firmness in his jaw. But she saw softness in his eyes.

    Kaylie searched his gaze, looking for something deeper and it took her breath away when she found it. It was a look that she had had hoped for, but dared not name. The look was so intense that she dropped her gaze to avoid being lost forever in the blue sea of his eyes. She became aware that she had been holding her breath. She tried to breath normally and it came out of her as her body in waves as she shuddered. She clung to him tighter and melted into his strength and warmness.

    She felt his fingers trace her cheek and then they found her chin. They became more firm as he tilted her head up to look at him again, but she could not force her eyes to go beyond his lips. She couldn’t look. She tried, but her eyes would move no further, so she did the best she could and stared at his lips. But this only served to make her own lower lip tremble. She was either on the verge of laughing or crying or that indescribable place between those feelings.

    He was going to kiss her. She knew it. He knew it. She waited patiently for it to come, wanting the moment just before it happened to last almost as long as the moment itself; and, thankfully, the universe cooperated as time slowed down. His warm breath sent a shiver from her head, down her back, and all the way to her toes. The shiver somehow lingered around her navel as if an electric current was causing random neurons to fire. She felt a tiny little spasm of a muscle that had gone too long unused.

    Estia’s face appeared in her peripheral vision.

    “Hey,” Estia said. “I’m all set. He gave me the wristband.”

    The kiss did not happen. Instead, they drifted apart. The embrace dissolved as mysteriously as it had occurred.

    “Oh,” Ray said. “That’s great. That’s really great.” But his eyes never left Kaylie as he said it, and then he turned on his heel and was gone.

    1. Alex

      Hi Steve, I like your scene, I thought you handled the female POV really well. Lots of psychology and little details, but it does not get boring. Lots of tension.

      Also, please excuse the long delay.

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