WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
If you are looking for a tutorial to teach your sheepdog Jive and Foxtrot, you have come to the wrong place.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for a website to let your creative writing skills skyrocket, you have come to exactly the right place! This website shows you in detail how the master writers do it and gives you custom-tailored exercises so you can do it yourself.
We will turn your creative writing into a nimbus of shimmering holy golden light. So step on in!
I created this blog because to the best of my knowledge, nothing like it exists. It’s the guide I wish I had back when I was trying to figure out how to write novels, short stories and screenplays.
At the time, I often found myself looking for a comprehensive manual.
I thought about how awesome it would be to have a book or website that could explain how great writing works by using in action examples of great writers. How useful it would be to have a constant source of material to train your storytelling muscles, like actually valuable writing prompts.
But I was hardly able to find any useful tutorials and today, despite the whole wide world (www) of the internet, the situation is similar.
A common “How to Write” Guide will go like this: “Write your first sentence first, because writing it second will just confuse people. Please make it very tingly by mentioning pink balloons with smiley faces and a hungry puppy. Be careful. Thank you.”
This doesn’t lead anywhere except to brand-new leather seats for the car of the person who is selling it to you.
My website, on the other hand, takes a very different approach.
Science says that learning is a two-step process: First, you have to really understand how something works, and then you have to execute it again and again to internalize it.
On this blog, you will get plenty of both: In-depth instructions and lots of practice. The posts will also entertain you like a donkey on a unicycle.
HOW CAN THIS BLOG HELP YOU?
Each post has four parts. That’s to make it easier for you to inhale all of the good stuff and to give fun icons a meaning too.
- The Basic Idea: This is kind of the brain of the article, the basic lesson: What, how, why and who slept with whom (it’s not always the latter, but you might find some interesting details about the authors’ lives…).
- The Piece of Evidence: Think of this as the heart of the post. It’s a short example, showing the world’s finest writing in action. This is where dry theory suddenly becomes as vivid as an octopus juggling jellyfish! You don’t just get a rule painted on a blackboard, but in addition get a feeling for how famous authors have handled the issue.
- The Counter-Example: This might as well be the asshole of the post. Here, you get the above example re-written as the most awkward, horrible piece of shit, I mean literature, imaginable – in total violation of exactly the principles explained beforehand. They say that you only really learn to value something once it’s gone; so this section will really make you miss the good old times by making your hair spike, rolling your toenails up and letting the skin of your face stay vertically behind you. In the future, you will hopefully notice such blunders in your own writings very quickly.
- The Writing Prompt: I don’t know which body part this is… in any case, it’s a writing exercise, carefully tailored to what you just learned: Take the ice-cold theory, the high-percentage liquor of the writing prompt and the juices of your creative spirit, pour it all into the shaker, give it a rattle and produce a delicious cocktail out of it. Once the whole drink spills over your keyboard, don’t forget to put a paper umbrella on top! You are then encouraged to share your writing exercise in the comments.
And what’s the best way to use this website to become a great fiction writer?
Mr. and Mrs. Mammoth at Candlelight Dinner.
(Don’t ask me what this images has to do with writing…)
THE NUMBER ONE SECRET ABOUT BECOMING AN INCREDIBLE FICTION WRITER
What’s the one surefire way to become an excellent story writer?
Write a lot!
Only practice will create true skill – that’s why this blog is focused so heavily on making you do it!
Damn, so it’s still all a lot of work? Right, that’s just how it is, there is no magic pill and no tooth fairy. If there was a tooth fairy, most people would be running around without chompers.
Here is the good news though:
I bet you have what it takes, because it seems like you reeeeaaally want to write. Otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for writing advice on the internet and reading this page (number) words down until this point.
Your passion matters a lot.
And chances are you have talent, because when people love an activity, they are often good at it.
And from now on, if you want, you have an additional ace up your sleeve: This blog is here for you, ready to support you!
No matter whether you write novels, short stories, screenplays, dramas, poetry or anything else fiction-related, no matter what’s your genre.
Imagine people reading your stories eagerly and applauding you, the writer. Getting the right advice will be a shortcut for you to becoming that great storyteller. And ultimately, you just have to do it. You have to take action and write.
As you see, it’s all laid out for you – but the question is: How can you prove to yourself you are ready to take action?
You could start by getting my free e-book titled The 44 Key Questions to Make Your Story Look like Hemingway in Earnest. It covers every single question you need to ask to see if a story is good or not. And it includes several writing exercises. Try them immediately!
Just put your e-mail address into the box below and you will have the ebook in your inbox in a moment.
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Unsubscribe any time.
In any case, don’t procrastinate, start your journey to compelling writing within the next 60 seconds! If you put it off, you will never start – so fuck perfectionism and jump right in!
And who is telling you this?
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
So you saw the header image and thought this was the blog of a mad man?
You are absolutely right! But I’m also here to share what I know about creative writing.
Hi, my name is Alex and I’m from Vienna, Austria (no kangaroos!).
When it comes to writing, I’m a complete autodidact. I started writing my first stories at the age of six and later spent thousands upon thousands of hours sitting alone in a room with a pencil and a stack of paper (yes, paper! I still like its direct, physical nature).
You could use all of the fiction books I have read to build a small single-family house (or at least a luxury doghouse). I think that’s true for most people who love to write.
My knack for text got me the call of a big advertising agency from Germany, so I moved to Hamburg to work as a copywriter. While it was fun to tackle words and ideas for big clients, it was still a 9-to-5 grind. And I like my freedom.
It was clear I needed to work with something creative. I’m the type whose mind is constantly digging for new story ideas; in the shower, with friends, or the classic: late at night before falling asleep.
Next step, I moved to Hollywood to study in film school. I learned how to approach a story from many different angles: Screenplay, directing, camera, etc… Hollywood is a fascinating, over-the-top Disneyland with lots of cotton candy and creeps for any creative. After that, I went back to Austria to work in movies.
I also called Madrid my home for a while. So many exciting and beautiful places in the world! Staying in your native city for all of your life to me would be like eating mandatory chocolate cake every day of your life.
Now I’m packing my 10,000 hours of experience and everything I have learned into this blog: No holding back, I can say whatever the fuck I want and however the fuck I want it. 😉
I can bring to you exactly what I think is most useful for you if you want to write great fiction.
Making this blog big is my next great adventure! Join me!
No spam, ever.
Unsubscribe any time.